Why is it so hard to explain what you do, even when you’re really good at it?
In this episode, messaging strategist Damian Vallelonga breaks down why solopreneurs struggle with clarity, confidence, and consistency in their messaging, and what to do about it.
We talk about why referrals aren’t a strategy, how vague language quietly kills opportunities, and the exact framework Damian uses to help solopreneurs create elevator pitches, website headlines, and LinkedIn bios that actually make sense to other humans.
If you’ve ever said, “I know what I do, I just don’t know how to explain it,” this episode is for you.
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Connect with Damian Vallelonga
Favorite Quote About Success:
"If you can't communicate something simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Episode FAQs
Why do solopreneurs struggle to clearly explain what they do?
Solopreneurs struggle to explain what they do because they know too much. Years of experience, details, and expertise live in their heads, making it hard to simplify their message for someone hearing it for the first time. Clear messaging requires stepping outside your own perspective and focusing on what your audience needs to understand, not everything you know.
What is the simplest framework for creating an effective elevator pitch?
An effective elevator pitch has three parts:
The common problem your ideal client is struggling with
What you do to help solve that problem
The outcome or transformation they experience as a result
This structure keeps your message focused, relatable, and easy to remember, without turning it into a list of credentials or services.
How often should solopreneurs update their messaging?
Solopreneurs should revisit their messaging any time their business changes in a meaningful way. This includes adding or removing services, narrowing a niche, shifting strategy, or changing who they serve. Messaging should always follow business strategy, because outdated or unclear messaging creates confusion, and confusion is one of the biggest barriers to growth.
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About Damian Vallelonga
For years, Damian dreaded the question, “So, what do you do?”
He would ramble, over-explain, or default to language so vague that people couldn’t quite grasp how he actually helped them. Over time, he noticed the same pattern with other consultants and solopreneurs—highly skilled at their work, but stuck when it came to clearly explaining their value.
To solve that problem, Damian developed a simple, focused process: one dedicated day to dig deep, distill what truly matters, and put it into clear, usable language.
Today, he helps solo consultants and coaches walk away with a one-page Pitch Pack—confident, concise messaging they can use in real conversations, on LinkedIn, and across their website.
That clarity changes everything.
EpisodeTranscript
Carly Ries: If you've ever stumbled through your elevator pitch or cringed while trying to explain what you actually do, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale. We sat down with messaging strategist Damian Vallelonga, who helps solopreneurs turn all that brilliance swirling around in their heads into clear, compelling language that actually gets them hired. Davion shares why so many solopreneurs struggle to articulate their value, a simple three part framework that can instantly sharpen your pitch, and why your messaging should never ever be the me show. We even put our own lifestyle pitch on the hot seat for a live critique. So if you want to stop rambling, start resonating, and finally feel confident telling people what you do, this is a must listen.
You're listening to the Aspiring Solopreneur, the podcast for anyone on the solo business journey, whether you're just toying with the idea, taking your first bold step, or have been running your own show for years and want to keep growing, refining, and thriving. I'm Carly Ries, and along with my cohost, Joe Rando, we're your guides through the crazy but awesome world of being a company of one. As part of LifeStarr, a digital hub dedicated to all things solopreneurship, we help people design businesses that align with their life's ambitions so they can work to live, not live to work. If you're looking for a get rich quick scheme, this is not the place for you. But if you want real world insights from industry experts, lessons from the successes and stumbles of fellow solopreneurs, and practical strategies for building and sustaining a business you love, you're in the right spot.
Because flying solo in business doesn't mean you're alone. No matter where you are in your journey, we've got your back. Damian, I just love what you do, and I'm so excited to dive into the topic. But before we get to that, we ask all of our guests an icebreaker question, we want to ask you what you wish you had known before becoming a solopreneur.
Damian Vallelonga: Wow. Like too many topics to list, but sales. I think, sales, the importance of just like nonstop, promotions, networking, marketing, conversations, like, just I think I had really underappreciated just how critical. Because for a time, I would get you know, we all get referrals and over the years, you have lots of relationships with other clients and business owners, and there's sort of highs and lows of, the referral process. And so I really wish that I had a more structured and predictable lead flow and sales process and all that stuff, because I've had to sort of learn that as I'm also continuing to sort of refine my own business model and the services that I provide. So that would have been helpful.
Joe Rando: Yeah. that's not unique to you. That's for sure. We hear that one a lot, you know. And then you'll wind up trying to fix the plane while you're flying it. And it's hard, but yeah.
Carly Ries: Well, Damian, you help people kinda clarify their messaging. So I'm gonna test you on this before we get into our series of questions we have for you. What do you do?
Damian Vallelonga: So a messaging strategist for solopreneurs because so often, when we work for ourselves, it can be really tough to articulate exactly the value that we provide in our services, not just I'm a, you know, fill in my title. Like what do you actually do for people? And so often when we're speaking, when we're writing about ourselves, website, LinkedIn, anywhere, we can ramble, we can use vague, you know, imagery and really difficult language for people to just grasp simply. So what I do is I walk people through a very simple streamlined one day process that allows me to generate very concise and accurate and compelling descriptions about what you do for other people in the form of like an elevator pitch and a LinkedIn headline and taglines, things like that. So that people have an easier time promoting themselves and they're more confident when they're making an introduction about themselves, all that stuff.
Gets easy.
Carly Ries: I just wanna say, you practice what you preach when you did that.
Joe Rando: I wanna do something here. I wanna get critiqued. Okay? Will you critique us?
Damian Vallelonga: Sure. Okay.
Joe Rando: So LifeStarr. Right? So Lifestar helps solopreneurs build businesses that serve their life and their goals. And we do that by helping them with lead generation marketing, sales and selling, and productivity and time management.
Damian Vallelonga: That's not bad. One thing that I would do is.
It's solid I mean, that's a solid b plus, which is ahead of a lot of people. So soon after that I would want to like understand, you know, like if everyone who's running their business has their own unique struggle and always needs some help, and this is like the core of working by yourself. well, I can only do so many things really well, but I kinda need to do as many as possible to be able to grow the business and to sustain it. So I would wanna hear more about, because all of that sounds useful, but right now in this moment in time, I have some very specific struggles I'm trying to overcome so I would really wanna know and you if you heard what I led with, which is actually one of the best ways to start the description, is to include what problem is going on in your ideal client's business today that they're most struggling with, most need help with, and really call that out quickly.
And it doesn't have to be long. I sort of went on a little bit, but, what can we talk about that is the most common, pressing, like painful issue that if you're able to sort of relieve that, makes a big impact in their life and their business. The better and the clearer and the quicker you can get to that, the easier it is for them to sort of relate and identify with that, and then they'll keep listening because you've sort of made that connection with them. The later you do it in the conversation, the less effective that conversation will be. So that's just like one tip.
Joe Rando: what a great way to start this. I think we can finish actually. Let me quit now.
Carly Ries: All done.
Damian, why do you think it's so hard for solopreneurs to define their elevator pitch, their succinct messaging? Because they're often so good at what they do, they just can't clearly explain it. And we see that across the board. So why is that?
Damian Vallelonga: Well, it's pretty easy. It's because we all have a ton of information in our heads to be able to do our work really well. especially if you're an adult and you've been doing your craft for years or decades, you have an incredible amount of information in your brain. The challenge is that you know 99% more than what your prospective client needs to needs to know. And so being able to step outside of yourself, turn around and look at yourself with the simplicity, the clarity needed, so that the the observer, the listener, the reader, so you understand their perspective and you realize you only need to give them these little bits to start the conversation, and yes, you can go deeper and deeper.
It's really hard to get the break outside of our own heads and get that outsider perspective because we are just overloaded with detail and we need to be able and that's why, sort of why my work exists because I can translate all of the junk in your head and all the great things that you know and translate it into a into the words that the listener, the reader is there to get and only you have to restrict it. So that's a really difficult thing for people who work on their own because we don't necessarily have a team to say like, okay marketing director or manager or whatever you know, do some interviews, do some surveys, do like all of this testing and then come back and they'll deliver a report to me. like, we're on our own. And we have to be doing so many things and that one piece is often really difficult for humans in general. It's kinda why we need therapists. It's just a really normal thing, and it sucks. so that's why I like to be able to say, oh, okay. Well, let's just, simplify this and really quickly be able to, develop some language that makes a lot of sense coming from you and makes a lot of sense to the person listening.
Carly Ries: How can people bridge the gap between what you do and why you should care? I feel like it's such a fine dance of, I need to let them know, but I also don't wanna make it the me show.
Damian Vallelonga: Yeah. No. It definitely should not be the me show. That's one of the important things about, strategic messaging, the more that you talk about your own stuff, the more that you talk about, your career, your accolades, like, your experiences, all those things, the more you do that, the more people are going to tune out because most people are just not gonna find an easy way to relate, an easy way to connect with that. so we must be able to, sort of, flip perspectives and spend more time, internally, more time understanding the problems, the needs, the aspirations, goals of the people you're trying to appeal to. And then make the conversation as much or ideally even more about them and what they're trying to achieve. And then you say oh, well, it happens that I have the services or the skills to be able to come in and support you in that journey, but it's so much more effective and interesting to have a conversation where you are really listening to an individual, and we're talking about one to one conversations, but it sort of comes out in all of your promotions and all of your marketing. It's like if you're just constantly focused on you, then the other people reading, they're gonna be like, okay. Well, who cares about, all this stuff?
I just need to know that this person can help end the story.
Joe Rando: Reminds me of Donald Miller's story brand we've talked about a lot. He said, the customer is the hero. You're the guide. Don't make yourself the hero. That doesn't work. And, yeah, you're saying something very similar, I think.
Damian Vallelonga: Yes. It's definitely a marketing principle that has been, tried and true for ages. But it's just when we're the individuals responsible for our own business, all of these things become way more challenging.
And but, yes, he has framed that in a really great way, I will say.
Carly Ries: How do emotion storytelling and, social proof play into all of this for a successful pitch?
Damian Vallelonga: well, social proof is obviously a critical part. there's a reason why ratings and reviews are such a big part of, Amazon and Google and Facebook and all that stuff because we want to see ourselves in the storyline of a business. A lot of people don't really think about their business as having a storyline, but like from the outside if you're like, hey, what does this service do or what does this person do? It really is like reading a storyline. And so the easier it is to see yourself in it, the better, And one of the ways that you can do that is by having social proof in the form of like testimonials and things where people who have gone through this experience can document and illustrate that transformation that they've gone through.
I mean that's basics of storytelling. If you have a testimonial that starts with, I really struggled with fill in the blank. This person came in with this awesome process and took me, to the point where I now feel confident, you know, fill in the blank, and my business is able to achieve goals. So that transformation is sort of the core of most good stories. So that word transformation really needs to be part of your marketing and your messaging is what is the transformation that you're promising.
If you are an expert in QuickBooks, that you're helping solve a problem and you're helping with a transformation. If you are a waste management company, like it doesn't matter, all of the services that exist, exist to relieve something or to solve something. And the more that we can sort of lean into that with our own promotions, the more compelling it is for somebody to listen to or read.
Carly Ries: So I know you usually take about a day to go through the full process, so this might be an unfair question. But what's a simple exercise that you'd recommend for someone trying to clarify what they do? Is there something that can just kick start it?
Damian Vallelonga: Yes. So it's really like this three part, and I just sort of introduced it with that description, but it's for your own work. If you can follow this simple formula, and, you have you have to spend some time thinking about conversations that you've had. But if you've been doing what you're doing for really any amount of time more than like a month, and you've had a variety of conversations, you're able to recognize patterns in the people that come to you and then what they're telling you.
Hey. for me, it's that people are like, I've been trying to, write down a description of what I do and my elevator pitch for years, and I always come back to it and it just never really feels right. So if you can articulate step one, if you can articulate the problem that is common in your client's business, that's the first part. Second part is simply write out what you do. So for me after I've illustrated that people have a really hard time describing their own work in ways that get them hired, I then say well I'm messaging specialist and I offer a one day workshop to streamline your messaging.
And then the third part is, what do they get out of it? you are way more confident when you're pitching yourself, when you're presenting, when you're writing about yourself, and ultimately it's easy for you to get hired. So those three pieces, a common problem, just state your services, and then the the promise that your that that your service is there to to provide the outcome of that service is a really great basic framework for putting together a description or a pitch.
Carly Ries: So you were saying that people will say, oh, I've had my business for a while, but I just I haven't landed on that right thing. But businesses do also evolve, so the messaging will evolve with it, obviously. How often should solopreneurs revisit their messaging? Well, sort of just to your point, when things evolve, you will know when you're doing this, but if like, over the course of two or three years, your business has either like streamlined and you've gotten more focused or you've taken on a new type of service.
Damian Vallelonga: Whenever there's a structural change, that's when you absolutely need to review, to revisit, review, and revise whatever you're saying to the world because you don't want to confuse. confusion is just like the enemy of marketing, of trying to get yourself known. So limiting that is obviously important. And whenever things shift in your business, you really need to take stock of what you had been saying before. Was it sort of high level enough to include what you're doing now, or was it very specific?
Often it's not. But you really wanna make sure that you're following the lead of whatever the business strategy is, whatever the plans that you've come up with. Make sure that once that's locked in, you say, okay, now I offer three services where I used to offer two. Immediately following that, you need to come in and make sure that the messaging is speaking to that stuff.
Carly Ries: Mhmm. So speaking of the evolution of your messaging, how should people change the context of their pitch for like, let's say they're at a networking event, but then they have a website headline, but then they're on a podcast. How can they take that same messaging, but change it for a variety of scenarios?
Damian Vallelonga: Right. So the most fun thing to do is to have conversations about it because when you're developing this stuff and maybe for the first time where you're like, okay, I'm gonna actually get serious about this. Having a conversation with, a good friend or a spouse or anybody that you trust, colleague, whatever, and sort of say like, would you mind listening to me say this? Doing some testing like that, you start to figure out how things feel as they're coming out of your mouth, and you will start to sort of, shift the language so that it just, makes sense to you and your brand, to people on the outside. so that's a lot of fun to work through because like I really feel this as I'm saying it, it makes total sense.
It takes a little bit of time to get like totally comfortable, but that is really just like if it's at a networking event and you're like, hey, someone's like, tell me what you do. You know, you can be relatively informal because, you're having a drink and it's at, a restaurant, and it should be, a little bit easier to sort of just, riff on this on what you do. But translating that into writing can be challenging because especially with websites, the brevity that's required is often very difficult because you're gonna have to boil these ideas down to limited numbers of characters if you want to get people reading. And so it's, that framework that I laid out, which is those three pieces, those three things are gonna be useful everywhere. And if you can zero in on the most impact. what is the most impact that I provide to somebody?
And what's the greatest relief that I provide to somebody? If you can really and how am I unique? How is what I do different from other people? Those things are going to be universally helpful. It's just a matter of where do I have an opportunity to expand on these things like in conversation, and where do I really have to limit the number of words that I'm using so that I don't bore people and turn them off.
It's not easy, but you know, that's part of the process.
Carly Ries: I just feel like this is all so helpful because I think this is such a universal problem that solopreneurs have. So if solopreneurs took one thing away from this conversation, what should it be?
Damian Vallelonga: The one thing that they should take away from this conversation is that it's not all about them. And I don't want that to sound like I'm being mean. It's just that if you put yourself in your prospect's shoes because we all have to hire people, we all have to buy things. We want to make sure that we are getting what we need and that our problem is being solved. So flip it around, whenever you are talking to people or whenever you're trying to promote yourself, you've got to remember that the other person just needs to make sure that they're being helped.
And your degree from 1995 is not the thing that's gonna get them helped. It's you understanding them, their problems and their goals.
Joe Rando: So Damien, you're saying that the solopreneur should not have in their h one text on their website their name and their degree initials after. Is that what you're saying ?
Damian Vallelonga: Correct. It is 100% not useful.
Carly Ries: Joe, I don't know. Your physics degree can really help a lot of us go a long way in this whole process.
Joe Rando: Oh, yeah. That's what people are looking for, a physicist to solve their business problems.
Damian Vallelonga: Right. Sometimes it's not even related. Like, no, you don't need that.
Carly Ries: Well, Damien, I feel like you'll help so many people find success helping craft their message. So we always ask all of our guests this question. What is your favorite quote about success?
Damian Vallelonga: Well, I was just writing about this in recent days, and it's more about the type of work that I do, but it's really a critical idea and it's from Einstein. It's just
Joe Rando: Another physicist.
Damian Vallelonga: Another physicist. Who knew? Who knew that they could translate into the world of marketing? It's if you can't communicate something simply, you don't understand it well enough. And for me who helps people with their message, it's like if we don't understand the full circle of the world that you live in, meaning you're on one side of things and your clients on the other side of things, if you don't understand that relationship really well, you're not going to be able to describe what you do simply. So that quote just resonates time and time again, I think it makes something very difficult to grasp in terms of like how do I make this happen? It at least gives you that okay. There's that realization that if I can't if I don't understand not just me, but my clients really well, it's gonna be hard to describe what I do.
So I better get a hold on that, and that you know, it's just listening, conversations, interviews, that stuff really helps people get that full view of their companies, their businesses storyline, which will help to compel more people to hire them.
Carly Ries: Great. Well, this has been wonderful. Damian, if people wanna learn more about you, more about your business, where can they find you?
Damian Vallelonga: So I wrote on LinkedIn many days during the week. Just search Damian Vallelonga, and the offer that I have, it's called What Do You Do? And the website is whatdoyoudo.site, and that's where I offer this one day workshop, and I develop a pitch pack that's just this one sheet of your primary messaging, and you're good to go in a day.
Carly Ries: Awesome. And those will all be in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show today. We appreciate it, I think this will be so valuable for many of our listeners.
Joe Rando: I agree. This was a really really great topic, and you did a great job explaining it. I gotta go back and rewrite our pitch now.
Damian Vallelonga: Thank you, guys.
Carly Ries: We'll get our Marching orders. Well, listeners, thank you so much for tuning in today. As always, please leave that five star review. Share this episode with a friend who you think would find it valuable, and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, including YouTube.
And we will see you next time on The Aspiring Solopreneur. You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, millions of people are in your shoes, running a one person business and figuring it out as they go. Why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures? At LifeStarr, we're creating a one person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs.
Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.