Let me guess. You’ve been told to “identify your ideal client’s pain points.” So you did.
You made a list. You highlighted the frustrations. You agitated the problem. You wrote the email.
And maybe it performed…fine.
But something about it felt flat. Or forced. Or overly dramatic.
Here’s why: Your audience is not walking around thinking, “Wow, I hope someone really pokes at my biggest insecurity today.”
And if you’re a solopreneur marketing to your specific niche, whether that’s busy parents, founders, executives, creatives, patients, couples, homeowners, or high-achievers, they don’t see themselves as “pain points.”
They see themselves as people in process.
And your writing should reflect that.
Pain-based messaging assumes your audience is:
But most people aren’t at rock bottom.
They’re:
When you only write to pain, you accidentally flatten their experience. You reduce their whole journey to a single problem. And people don’t feel seen when they’re reduced. They feel marketed to.
Instead of asking: “What hurts?”
Start asking: “What stage are they in right now?”
Because that’s where resonance lives. Your audience is somewhere between:
When you speak to that movement, your writing feels human. And human wins.
Let’s say you’re a fitness coach.
Pain-Based: Sick of feeling overweight and out of shape? Tired of hating what you see in the mirror?
That works on paper.
But here’s the journey-based version: You’ve tried a few programs. You know what to do in theory. But life keeps getting in the way: work, kids, travel, exhaustion. You don’t need another extreme reset. You need something that fits your real life.
One shames. One understands.
Which builds trust faster?
As a solopreneur, your business is relational. You’re not a giant brand with layers of distance. Your audience connects to you.
And when your writing feels overly dramatic, manipulative, or exaggerated, it creates subtle friction.
But when your writing says: “I see where you are.”
That’s powerful. Because most people don’t feel seen in the middle.
Here’s a practical framework you can apply immediately.
Instead of assuming incompetence, acknowledge effort. Instead of: “You don’t know how to manage your time.”
Try:
“You’ve tried planners. You’ve tried productivity apps. You’re still juggling more than feels sustainable.”
You’re not attacking. You’re recognizing.
The most relatable place to write from is not rock bottom. It’s the middle.
The in-between. The:
That’s where real buying decisions happen.
Not in desperation. In desire for refinement.
People don’t just want solutions. They want to become someone. Your audience might want to become:
When you speak to who they’re becoming, not just what they’re fixing, your writing carries weight.
Watch for words like:
Replace them with:
The energy shifts from emergency to evolution. And evolution feels empowering.
Let’s say you’re a financial advisor.
Pain-based copy: Worried you’ll never retire? Tired of financial stress?
Journey-based copy: You’re saving. You’re investing. You’re doing the responsible thing. But you’re not sure if it’s enough, or if it’s aligned with the life you actually want to live.
See the nuance?
You honor what they’ve already done. You meet them where they are. And you guide them forward.
When you write this way:
And over time, that compounds. Because people start thinking:
“They get me.”
Not:
“They’re trying to sell me.”
Focus on your audience’s current stage, not just their biggest pain. Acknowledge what they’ve already tried, describe the messy middle, and position your offer as the next logical step in their journey.
Pain points are useful, but relying only on them can feel manipulative or exaggerated. Balancing pain with progress and identity shifts creates more trust and long-term connection.
Write as if you’re describing someone’s real life, not exaggerating their struggles. Use language that reflects growth, experimentation, and evolution instead of crisis and failure.