If Failure Scares You, You Need to Read This

by Carly Ries Carly Ries | Jun 8, 2021 8:00:00 AM

"If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail…it takes backbone to lead the life you want."

- Richard Yates

Shake it off.

Isn’t that just the worst thing to hear as you’re dealing with failure?

What’s even more infuriating is that some people do actually seem to have the ability to shake things off when circumstances don’t work out the way they planned. While some people just have the trait within them, others need to work at it. How do you go about developing resilience if it isn’t a natural part of your personality?

Luckily, just because you aren’t born with that part of your personality, it doesn’t mean you can’t develop those traits over time. Here are a few steps to take to make sure failure doesn’t hold you back from getting you what you want.

Like what you see? This post gives you a preview of our guide, Unleash Your Inner Awesome: Motivational Quotes With Actionable Steps to Help You Reach Your Goals and Achieve Great Things. Be sure to check it out here.

Actionable Steps

Feel The Frustration

Don’t try to push your emotions under the rug. While you want to be more resilient when it comes to failure, ignoring your feelings like they don’t exist won’t do you any good. Feel the letdown and frustration and work through it. It will make it easier to truly move on from your mistake.

Look at Failure Objectively

It is so hard to not take a failure personally, but try to take a step back and see it for what it is. Failure is a growth opportunity. It’s a learning experience. It’s normal. If you can take the emotion out of it, you’ll be better equipped to handle it and use it to your advantage.

Know You Are More Than Your Failure

Failure can consume you. It has the ability to make you think you are a failure, rather than that you have failed at something. Remember, your failure is only a part of you and doesn’t define you.

Have Compassion for Yourself

You are your harshest critic, so remember to give yourself a break. We’re often taught to forgive others, but too frequently aren’t familiar with the act of forgiving ourselves. Be kind to yourself so that moving on to bigger and better things will go a lot more smoothly.

Be Patient

Your failure will sting at first, but as the saying goes, this too shall pass. You just need to let time do its thing and know the feeling you’re currently having won’t be permanent, so don’t let it hold you back.

Practice Taking Risks

I’m not saying you need to go skydiving tomorrow, but take little risks and see what it feels like to fail on a small scale. Knowing the feeling will make it less daunting and will help to reframe your attitude when larger failures occur.

Research Other Failures

Find comfort in numbers. You are not the first person to fail and you won’t be the last. Do a bit of research to see how other people have overcome failure. For example, Elon Musk recently became the richest man in the world but he has had plenty of failures. Here’s a list of them.

Take Care of Yourself

The healthier you are mentally and physically, the better equipped you’ll be to handle failure. Think positively. Get in some physical activity. Get some sleep. Be good to yourself.


At the end of the day, if you can give yourself a good chuckle, then you’re already heading down the right path to recovery.

Food for Thought: What is the one thing from the list above that you can put into practice today?

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