You Built It…Now You’re Scared to Share It? Let’s Fix That.

Watch the Episode on YouTube

You know that electric rush when you finally build the business you’ve been dreaming about? And then, right as you’re about to tell people… you freeze?

In this episode, Carly and Joe dive into one of the least discussed but most universal solopreneur struggles: the fear of actually putting yourself out there. Why do so many solopreneurs, yes, even the wildly successful ones, get stuck right at the moment visibility matters most?

From perfectionism to vulnerability to the dread of “seeming salesy,” we break down why this happens, the hidden costs of staying quiet, and the powerful mindset shifts that help you move forward with confidence (including why “I’m not selling-I’m helping” changes everything).

If you’ve ever hesitated to hit publish, announce your business, or send that first promo email, this conversation is going to feel like a giant exhale. You’re not alone, and after this episode, you won’t stay stuck.

FAQs From The Episode

How do I promote my business without feeling salesy or annoying?

Absolutely, this comes up constantly. The key is reframing. Promotion isn’t about pushing; it’s about helping. Share stories, tips, and solutions that genuinely support your audience. If your intent is to serve, people won’t experience your message as “salesy," they’ll experience it as valuable. And the people who aren’t your ideal clients? They’ll self-select out. That’s a good thing.

What if my work isn’t perfect yet? Should I wait until it’s ready?

Short answer: No. Long answer: still no. Perfectionism is fear wearing a fancy outfit. Your audience can’t benefit from what they can’t see. Put the version out that is good enough to help someone right now. Then improve it based on real feedback instead of imagined critique. Visibility creates clarity.

How do I get comfortable being visible if it feels so vulnerable?

Start in your comfort zone and expand outward. If video feels like jumping off a cliff, start with written posts. If posting publicly feels overwhelming, start by sharing with a small circle. Momentum comes from micro-bravery. And remember: every solopreneur you admire felt this same discomfort. It’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong; it’s a sign you’re doing it.

So, if you are lacking direction, having a hard time generating leads, or are having trouble keeping up with everything you have to do, or even just lonely running a company of one, click here to check out LifeStarr Intro!  

Episode Transcript

Carly Ries: What if the scariest part of building your business isn't the strategy, the tech, or the sales, but simply telling people it exists? In this episode, Joe and I break down the invisible force that stops so many solopreneurs from sharing their work with the world, and that is the fear of being seen. From perfectionism to vulnerability hangovers to the worry of looking salesy, we unpack the real reason solopreneurs hesitate to go public and the massive opportunities that disappear when they hide. If you've ever felt excited to build your business but terrified to announce it, this conversation will help you reframe visibility as service, take back your confidence, and finally get your work out there. You're listening to The Aspiring Solopreneur, the podcast for anyone on the solo business journey, whether you're just toying with the idea, taking your first bold step, or have been running your own show for years and want to keep growing, refining, and thriving.

I'm Carly Ries, and along with my cohost, Joe Rando, we're your guides through the crazy but awesome world of being a company of one. As part of LifeStarr, a digital hub dedicated to all things solopreneurship, we help people design businesses that align with their life's ambitions so they can work to live, not live to work. If you're looking for a get rich quick scheme, this is not the place for you. But if you want real world insights from industry experts, lessons from the successes and stumbles of fellow solopreneurs, and practical strategies for building and sustaining a business you love, you're in the right spot. Because flying solo in business doesn't mean you're alone.

No matter where you are in your journey, we've got your back. Joe, we work with hundreds of solopreneurs at this point in our community and and even thousands beyond that with people that receive our newsletter, people we've talked to on their show. Like we've had a lot of solopreneur time. we try to find patterns between the people we talk to. And something that I have found fascinating is that people get so excited to build their business, but then they get so scared to actually put their business out there.

And tell their friends, tell their family. We've had a few podcast guests who are very successful, who really struggled with that in the beginning. So I just wanted to cover that topic today because I think it's something a lot of people experience, but not a lot of people talk about. We talk about impostor syndrome and all that, but there's a genuine fear, like a vulnerability of being visible to your audience once it's ready to go. Do you have thoughts?

Joe Rando: Yeah. I have a few. I think there are a couple of different ways that this, you know, root causes, I guess, and ways that it manifests. But one of the root causes is perfectionism. So it's not perfect. And I'm guilty of that. I've been struggling with that my whole life. just it's not perfect, and therefore, it isn't ready. And sometimes you just gotta get it out there and figure out which imperfections are actually relevant to your customer, because they might not all be. so that's one that really, I think, holds a lot of people back. There's that fear, like you said, of vulnerability of being being out there and maybe being criticized. That can be really scary. And I think the third one that pops into my head is the idea that, oh, I don't wanna seem salesy. I don't seem like I'm selling to people.

And Then they're gonna be like, oh, he's just trying to sell me stuff. It's like, oh, it's like Amway. You know?

They're trying to just treat friends as customers. And, they've all got, you know, a core validity. Right? I mean, people aren't crazy for thinking these things.

Carly Ries: Oh, no. Not at all. I mean, I think that's why so many people experience it. But I think it creeps up on people. Because I think they leave corporate America, they start their own thing, they're really excited.

And I think, like oh, I actually have to show people this. I think it catches them off guard, it's a fear that they don't realize they have until they have to face it. But I agree with you on everything you said, but there are real costs to that, obviously. And I think, you miss opportunities with clients, partnerships, I mean PR even, getting your name out there. And I think you have to keep all these missed opportunities in mind as a way to help overcome them.

I mean, you can be so impactful if you reframe it as, I'm not selling, I'm helping. If I don't put myself out there, then the people that I serve will not benefit. And think of everything you do for your business as like, I'm not selling, I genuinely need to give people this product or service because they need it, and I'm the one that's gonna get it for them. So if you reframe it as, I'm helping people, it is amazing. I feel like I'm gonna make this stat up because this is not a known stat.

But I feel like 90% of entrepreneurship is just a mind game.

Joe Rando: I'm pretty sure it's 93.241%.

Carly Ries: There it is. There it is. Source unknown. But I think if you could reframe that mentally instead of being like, oh, I'm gonna get exposed, it's I'm gonna be helping people. And then instead of I might fall flat on my face if people see what I'm doing, every mistake don't look at it as a mistake. actually there's somebody I follow on LinkedIn. She just said this today. She was like, I only know about winning and learning. There's no losing. Because anytime you feel like you're losing or failing at something, it's just a learning experience that you can use to educate yourself, pivot, and keep moving forward.

And even my daughter the other day, she was struggling with a math problem. And she was like, what if I mess up a thousand times? And I was like, well then, you're a thousand times closer to getting the right answer. And so just reframing that. I Feel like I'm rambling at this point, but it's just such a shift in perspective that I think can help people overcome that vulnerability feeling. I mean, yeah, just to kind of add on to that, I think an important aspect of this is, that you're saying, I'm helping people.

Joe Rando: So as long as you're thinking about that clearly, that you are trying to help people, that it's not just a mantra, but actually what you're doing. And, therefore, you're willing to walk away from people that don't really need your service. You're not pushing and pitching people that really don't need what you're doing. And the people that are, you're trying to help them.

And you wanna help them for free to some degree to engage them and to let them, trust you and resonate with you. But then you don't wanna give away the farm either because, you know, you gotta make money. So you've gotta have this kind of line that you draw. You put it out there. Here are some free things to show that, I'm helpful.

And then here's the line where, oh, now we need to engage. And don't be afraid of that. It's okay. Anybody that thinks that you shouldn't get paid for the hard work that you do and all the experience you've had in your life up to date, they're not real.

They're thinking clearly. We need to be paid for our work, because otherwise we don't eat.

Carly Ries: Well, and I think there are two other things I wanna say. People I think also get scared because they're doing something that's really out of their comfort zone. So try to do things that are really authentic to you to start, and then grow from there. So if you're terrified of video, which so many people are, then start with a written LinkedIn post or something.

And work your way up. Start in your comfort zone, so that you can work up to that scary out of your comfort zone feeling, just get started. The other thing I would say, again, ninety two point three four, whatever you said, percent of entrepreneurs are uncomfortable. Nobody's comfortable putting themselves out there at the beginning. maybe they're excited about it, but it's an uncomfortable place. It just is. You're putting something new out there as a solopreneur that's very very personal. So just know you're not alone. This is something that most solopreneurs, at least most solopreneurs we talk to, experience,

Anything else you wanna add?

Joe Rando: I think we got it. I think we covered it.

Carly Ries: Perfect. We just wanted to put that out there because we've been hearing it a lot lately, so just know you're not alone, and we got you. Listeners, thank you so much for tuning in. As always, please leave that five star review, share this episode with a friend, and subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast platform, including YouTube. And we'll see you next time on the Aspiring Solopreneur.

You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, millions of people are in your shoes, running a one person business and figuring it out as they go. So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures? At LifeStarr, we're creating a one person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.